


Doubling

by Hopetohell



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Experimental Style, general weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29814852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopetohell/pseuds/Hopetohell
Summary: A conversation with August. And August. Something of a bridge between worlds.
Kudos: 1





	Doubling

_Eyes on me. Eyes on me. Just like that._

_(Please)_

_No, don’t look. Dont. Look. Look at me. Only me. Eyes forward. Watch me. You can do this. You can. That’s it. Open up_

_(Your heart, your mind)_

_and let me in. Let me in. I know. I know. It’s not alright. None of it is alright. I know. Shhhh. If— when. When we get out of here I’ll take you somewhere nice. Somewhere warm. You can put your toes in the water and think about sunshine and daisies or whatever it is you think about when you need to take your mind far away._

_(Knives)_

_Eyes on me. Focus. You can. You can do this. Just a little longer. That’s it. Breathe. In and out. Think about meadowgrass and willows. Think about the way the river sparkled in the sunlight and the way the warm air soothed my_

_(Your)_

_(Our)_

_Scars._

_Think about doubling and tripling your wins, don’t think about the losses_

_(Don’t think about a pretty little thing, eyes glassed and empty, don’t think about it because it’s happened for you but it hasn’t yet for me and goddamn it we are gonna change this path)_

_Think about it, focus, eyes on me, I know. I know. It hurts. You came to it quicker than I did and that’s alright._

_(It’s not alright, but it’s all you’ve got)_

_Just you and me now. Just you and me and the wind, just you and me and the wind and a mirror and an empty doorway and_

_And_

_And_

_And what did you think was gonna happen? I could’ve told you. Could’ve— well. I might not have helped you, but at least. At least. At least you’d know what to expect_

_(To hope for, to fear, to listen for in the wild winter nights when everything hurts and it feels like you’re dying, when the long valley’s chill creeps into your bones and you wonder why the fuck you’re still alive)_

_when they come for you, when your bones hum with echoes of forbidden realms_

_(Gates, doorways, passages and liminal spaces. You step through because to stop is unimaginable)_

_When the knife bites deep and all your bones are open to the air, you’ll hear it_

_(Hey, gorgeous. Hey, big guy. Hey Walker. Wa— August. August. August._

_Wake up. Wake up. The sun is shining_

_(It isn’t, it’s raining, it’s always fucking raining and I’m scared, I’m dying_

_No you’re not)_

_Like I fucking said, the sun is shining and all you have to do is walk)_

_It’s not okay, we’re not okay, nothing is or ever will be okay again but_

_(Alright?_

_Alright)_

_You have your— not your health, god, you’re a mess. But you’re alive_

_(Ish)_

_Aren’t you? Breathing, heart beating, all that stuff that makes meat into a man (more or less). Eyes on me. Keep. Keep your eyes on me. Keep. Listen. Listen. Fucking listen. We need—_

_I need your help. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Laugh about it. But your hands are fucking steady and I can’t. I can’t. Not anymore. Not after. You know._

_I know._

_(It’s gonna be a massacre)_

_None of it is good, none of it is right, but it’s what I (we) have. So eyes on me. Open up. Let me in. Let me in letmeinletmein_

_(What happened to, what happened to, what happened to your_

_Eye)_

_It’s a dead end, a broken path, and it doesn’t matter, just that I (we) need your (our) help and don’t you think I would’ve (you wouldn’t, how could you, if you knew you didn’t believe it, not til you saw the door and the cold pool and Christ what a mess we’ve made), don’t you think_

_Don’t you think I would’ve tried every other option?_

_(You wouldn’t because I know us, know you and there’s no one you could trust except—)_

_And so it comes to this again, to that last light reflecting off of mossy hazing-over eyes and Christ, I’ve fucked it up so badly,_

_(How did you)_

_It’s utterly irreparable, unless_

_(How could you)_

_Unless_

_(It’s impossible)_

_You let me in_

_(But)_

_And I can— we can—_

_(The only way through is gonna be a bitch to deal with)  
_


End file.
